On board the Karura #3

[oncamera]

For our third 'On board the Karura', may I introduce our chief medical officer, Oshitari Yuushi. Oshitari-san is well known for dedicatedly treating the rarest to the most mundane ailments for passengers and crew, and his impeccable sense in aesthetics. It is no wonder everyone in the medical bay is in love with our medic.





Due to the request from our killjoy head of security, the cut-outs of Oshitari-san can be seen only in the public rooms, not in the corridors. The exception is one outside the Ice Bar and the two flanking the doors of the medical bay. I have also been requested not to put the posters on the service bots after this week. For this last occasion then, all service bots currently have a Oshitari poster for you to enjoy, front and back.

An early happy birthday, Oshitari-san.


--
[ooc: Yes, the shirt Yuushi is wearing is THAT shirt. I was unable to recreate the horror it truly must be. Think official art level of disgust.]

Comments

[shishido_ryou]

Not sure he's ever given ne that advice.


I like the shirt.

[oncamera]

It was what he told me as I took the photograph. Perhaps self-interest is stopping you receiving the same advice.

I never said I didn't.

[shishido_ryou]

I'm not gonna punch him just because he gives weird advice. He's a doctor. Weird advice is like half the job.


Not sure it meets regulations for work though.

[oncamera]

I actually meant perhaps he was not interested in keeping you celibate. You have been working security too long, Shishido-san.

It maybe gives his patients something to think on.

[shishido_ryou]

He wants to pimp me to aliens that can get human men pregnant? That's a weird goal.


Isn't the voice enough?

[oncamera]

Don't undersell yourself. You are the perfect candidate.

Saa, but he cannot talk all the time.

[shishido_ryou]

Not sure I want to know what makes me perfect for this.

Are you sure? Maybe you just haven't got him on the right topic.

[oshitari_yuushi]

I'd make sure you didn't die, Shishido.

It does have a certain quality, doesn't it?

[shishido_ryou]

If a freaky alien encounter got me pregnant there's nobody I'd trust more to see me and the bastard spawn through it.

It's the stars. They're fun.

[oshitari_yuushi]

You can count on it.

The cutout doesn't do them justice. There is a great deal more... bling... involved.

[shishido_ryou]

Fuji thinks you're trying to get me pregnant. Are you trying to find something to write a journal article on?


I like bling.

[oshitari_yuushi]

Fuji is mildly delusional. You would know if I was trying to get you pregnant. Especially in the name of research.

Careful, I might feel compelled to buy you a matching shirt.

[oncamera]

I object to 'mildly delusional'.

[oshitari_yuushi]

To which part of the phrase, though?

[oncamera]

Both. If I was delusional, I promise I would take to it wholeheartedly.

[shishido_ryou]

That's what I figured but maybe Fuji is on to your secret sneaky side. Or you haven't found a suitable way to do it yet.



Matching EAA uniforms not enough for you?

[oshitari_yuushi]

Ah. A suitable way to secretly impregnate you?

They do lack bling.

[shishido_ryou]

Sort of sounds creepy put like that.

You still better not let me die though. Even if you are the creepy secret cause.


Only because I only wear medals with my full dress uniform.

[oshitari_yuushi]

The idea is creepy enough on its own.

As I said, if I were to make such an attempt, I'd make sure you enjoyed the process from beginning to end.

There ought to be more opportunities to see you in that, come to think of it.

[shishido_ryou]

hahaha true. I don't think there are any dudes out there who really want to get pregnant. Sounds super lame. Even without the get pregnant and die fear mongering the posters are doing.


I guess the beginning could be fun depending on how it's done... but I don't think the middle and end is going to be anything but lame. I've seen how miserable pregnant women get.


I do feel pretty badass in it. But if I'm in it, it's normally for some stuffy dinner or event and that's way less fun.

[oshitari_yuushi]

I imagine the charm lies in the end result.

Well, next time there's such an event, I'll be certain to ensure you have fun.

[shishido_ryou]

I don't think you've spent enough time around babies if you think that result is where the charm is.


First you're making sure I don't die during pregnancy and now you're going to make officer shindigs fun? My hero.

[nowifi4u]

Great. We can turn off all the lights and save power now.

Also, if you're going to use that quote, shouldn't one of them be holding a basket of condoms.

[oncamera]

I think Oshitari fully protected himself that night.

[nowifi4u]

I'd rather not imagine the situation.

[oshitari_yuushi]

Fuck

Thank you, Fuji. I am glad to be able to see my nightmarish self greet any visitors to med-bay.

I feel sorry for those deprived of service-bot cutouts in the future.

And for anyone who assumed I could give them any manner of advice on obstetric matters.


[OOC: strikes are gone]

[oncamera]

I am so glad you're pleased.

As will I, but at least this will be a week or six to remember, ne?

Your advice was solid, Oshitari. I'm sure it will be very popular among many mothers.

[oshitari_yuushi]

Oh yes, very.

I consider even a day with them around worth a lifetime of memories.

I suspect I will suddenly gain popularity in nunneries. Which is not necessarily a bad thing

[oncamera]

It warms my heart to find my work so appreciated.

Then you get the opportunity to demonstrate your own advice.

[worldofice]

Yuushi, if your visage was going to be outside my bar this week, it would have helped if you had at least smiled.

[oshitari_yuushi]

I'm sure it won't be my face that will deter patrons from entering the bar.

[worldofice]

I'm considering offering your cut-out a jacket.

[oshitari_yuushi]

You could possibly send it out to find the lost Shishido cutout in space. Or ask Oishi to do it, he seems to be an expert.

[worldofice]

I would never eject you from the spacecraft, Yuushi. Not even for that shirt. And I believe it unwise to encourage your staff's homicidal tendencies. Especially with regards to yourself.

[oshitari_yuushi]

That's a comforting thought. The latter, not so much. I should have the staff keep an eye on his rage issues.

[worldofice]

Do you believe the condition began before he started to work beside you?

[oshitari_yuushi]

I certainly hope I haven't actively inspired homicidal tendencies in my colleagues.

[worldofice]

A wish I too make daily. But you cannot ignore evidence. He appears to be friends with my barkeep.

[oshitari_yuushi]

Kikumaru-kun doesn't seem particularly bloodthirsty, mind.

[worldofice]

It shows a questionable life view.

[zonephantom]

Please make sure to recycle the cutouts. I do not want to see one of them floating outside the ship again. If I do, I will request that you retrieve it and dispose of it accordingly.

[oncamera]

Must I retrieve all the cutouts? Many simply vanish. I would need a permit to find them in private quarters.

Perhaps you should talk to Oishi, Tezuka. It is his instability that caused Shishido's fate. Cardboard can't be blamed alone.

[zonephantom]

Only the cutouts that are not located in private quarters. I will not give you a permit to search rooms.

(ooc: strikes deleted)

[willitblend]

I think you should add voice chips to the cutouts.

[oncamera]

I do like that idea. Perhaps Zaizen-kun could help with the electronics.

[willitblend]

He probably does have all the necessary materials already at hand.